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帮助孩子在学校建立深厚友谊的 10 种建设性方法

教育小贴士

每天,水滋润着土壤,滋养着植物的根系,植物得到补充,进一步生长。同样,每天早上与学校的朋友们相聚,也会培养和滋养孩子们度过剩下的每一天。

学校的友谊和同伴群体对儿童成长期的成长和发展起着不可或缺的作用。心理学教授、儿童行为专家保罗-施瓦茨(Paul Schwartz)认为(《公立学校评论》报道),学校友谊对儿童社交能力的发展有很大的促进作用。此外,通过与同龄人群体的互动,学生还能学会对他人的观点保持敏感,并更好地进行沟通。

学生在学校友谊中的安全感有助于他们建立归属感,并大大减轻他们的压力。反过来,这些因素也有助于提高学生在新加坡最好的国际学校的学习成绩,增强他们的自尊心。

然而,家长往往担心不健康的社会行为(如欺凌和辱骂)会对子女造成负面影响。因此,他们无法在真正培养和保护子女与过度保护扼杀子女成长之间取得适当的平衡。为了缓解这种情况,以下是一些家长可以帮助孩子在学校环境中交朋友的有益方法:

1.通过参与进行互动

一流的蒙特梭利学校深知小组活动和互动环节的重要性。因此,他们组织了许多此类活动,如戏剧和短剧、辩论、集体舞蹈、团队运动等,通过这些活动,学生可以在密切的监督下独立地相互交流。这些活动还有助于学生形成具有使命感和共同目标的一致小组。这些方面都能加强学生的诚信,帮助他们更加关心彼此的需要。家长必须鼓励孩子参加此类活动,并在必要时与教师协调,解决活动过程中遇到的任何问题。

2.顺其自然--永远不要强迫友谊!

家长通常坚持让孩子经常与同龄人打交道,以防止他们成为独行侠。然而,就像生活中的其他方面一样,友谊必须是有机的,不能强求。此外,内向是一种个性特征,而不是需要纠正的负面属性。因此,家长必须注意学生的个性,允许他们独立建立友谊。最好的办法是为他们提供一个培养和有利的环境,让他们选择自由地表达自己。

3.每个人都很重要:培养敏感的方法

任何持久交往的基础都是对他人的积极关注和对他人感受的考虑。当学生了解同伴的情绪状态时,他们就能在紧张的情况下做出更好的反应,并解决他们之间可能出现的任何问题。家长必须建立一个敏感和富有同理心的家庭环境,从而为孩子树立榜样,使他们养成这些品质。这些品质可以帮助他们与他人产生共鸣,并培养长久的友谊。

4.淘汰恶性竞争

有时,为了促使孩子在学业上取得优异成绩,家长会将学生的分数与同龄人的分数进行比较。这种比较会让孩子心中产生憎恨感,妨碍他们建立亲密的友谊。家长必须避免将孩子与同龄人进行比较,而是要肯定他们的才能,鼓励他们为了自己的利益取得更好的成绩。这种不做评判的教养方式能增强学生的自尊心,提高他们对自己能力的信心。

5.处理孩子的负面社交行为

对于父母来说,欺凌和逃学等消极的社会行为是相当难以控制的。他们往往试图通过惩罚和训斥孩子来遏制这些行为。然而,这种专制的教养方式只能从表面上抑制这些行为。纠正这种行为的最佳策略是了解其根源--他们与生俱来的恐惧和忧虑导致他们需要支配周围的人或逃避现实。例如,恃强凌弱是不断需要自我肯定的结果,而这种需要又是由潜在的自卑感造成的。为他们提供必要的支持以促进自我接纳,可以帮助这些孩子变得成熟,并消除此类行为。

另请阅读:如何与残障儿童沟通

 

6.让孩子关注其他孩子的需求

由于无法理解同伴的特殊需要、局限性和挑战,孩子们之间经常会产生误解和争吵。有时,孩子们在日常活动和交往中可能不把有不同能力的同伴包括在内,这反过来又可能导致后者被社会孤立。在这种情况下,家长必须让孩子了解同学的特殊情况和需求,促进共鸣,并培养积极的社会互动。不同能力儿童的家长必须重申他们的能力,鼓励他们磨练自己的技能,从而增强他们的自尊心。

7.陪伴他们,但不要成为他们

过度介入孩子的社交生活会让他们退缩,失去自我。在尊重孩子隐私需求的同时,陪伴他们总是有帮助的。与其充当他们的救世主,不如赋予孩子解决冲突的能力,必要时为他们提供必要的指导和建议。温馨但不干涉的家庭环境可以帮助他们建立健康的友谊并变得独立。

8.沟通是关键

我们越是压抑自己的想法和感受,就越容易被误解。表达自己的忧虑和看法有助于缓解误解,使友谊更加明朗。角色扮演、模拟面试、语言训练课和小组活动是提高孩子沟通能力的一些实用方法。一流的蒙特梭利学校会在校内组织这些活动,积极提高每个学生的沟通能力。

9.在友谊中设定必要的界限

虽然相互陪伴是友谊的一个重要方面,但界限对于避免相互依赖也至关重要。让孩子了解设定界限的重要性,并礼貌地拒绝他们无法满足的要求。例如,孩子可能和同学是最好的朋友,但两个孩子不一定要选择相同的课外活动。在这种情况下,孩子可以行使自己的自由,独立做出决定,同时支持朋友的选择。

10.接受错误,修正友谊

有时,由于自尊心的纠结,孩子们可能很难接受自己的错误并为之道歉。父母必须教会孩子为自己的错误负责的重要性。孩子们必须认识到,为自己的错误行为道歉并不会让自己比对方低人一等,相反,这有助于他们珍惜和加强友谊。

结论

在幼年时期得到适当的社会支持,会对他们的后半生产生持久的积极影响。此外,这种友谊往往会发展成为深厚、持久的联系,其特点是真诚、富有同情心和相互理解。作为父母,培养这种友谊的一个重要方面就是让孩子享有应有的独立性,同时又能让他们有所依靠。

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